MentEveryWord

Let me start this by saying, wow this was quite the polarizing book. I really liked this book. Many people had an issue with the writing, claiming Mary Cain sounded like a whiny teenager. These people must have missed the part at the beginning where she clearly says she is writing it as she felt in those moments. So yes, Mary Cain writing in a diary style about how she felt as an eighth grader on a varsity team is going to sound like a teenager. I’ve also seen people get really frustrated with the names she drops of minors, seemingly also having missed where she says she changed those names.

I’ve followed the Mary Cain story for over a decade now so had a fair amount of background for this one. I also read Kara Goucher’s book awhile back which also dives into the culture of Nike, running, and obviously Salazar.

I’d have to go back to look but this book actually spent a great deal of time addressing her high school years at Bronxville which I found fascinating. I am a high school coach. My husband is a high school coach. We both have and do coach club ball from youth all the way through high school age. Mary Cain touches on the way parents live vicariously through their children. Mary Cain talks about feeling bullied by girls on the team but frequently brings it back to feeling as though a lot of that comes from their parents. She references meets where Bronxville parents are stepping onto the course. She references Bronxville parents screaming at athletes not just on other teams but also Bronxville’s. Sadly, what she is describing is not unique to this program. I know parents banned from high schools for storming a field to verbally assault a ref. I have personally seen athletic directors herding the referees away from the field where a cop is meeting them to escort them out a long back way because of fear of the crowd. Oftentimes, within a week, you start hearing the kids repeating things that the parents had been saying in their out of control rage. It is a trickle down. It isn’t starting with the kids but rather the adults. We have to fix the culture around youth sports. Adults ruin youth sports, not the kids.

I do think the end of this book was a little too quick. It rapidly ended and I think there were things that could have been fleshed out more. Mary Cain does mention her RED-S diagnosis. Missed periods are often a sign of this condition. I am only a few years off Mary Cain age-wise and I too heard the “you’re not training hard enough if you are getting your period” message. For gymnasts, this was definitely a mantra but I heard it from a soccer coach. I had a cousin who heard this message constantly from coaches. This messaging was so dangerous for girls. This is something that I am really happy to say, at least in my area, is changing around women’s sports. I do wish this had gotten a page or two more of attention though.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I love that she wrote it in the voice of herself at the corresponding ages. I know that rubbed people the wrong way, but interestingly enough if you click on some of the people writing those comments you’ll find they were also the ones 10 years ago posting hateful things about her.

4.5 stars